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Queen of Hearts Blog
Lesson Learned
by Karen Peterkin, PBC
I was inspired when Mark shared stories about his first weddings over a decade ago, so I thought back to lessons I learned personally during the first weddings I ever coordinated.
The first wedding I coordinated was over seven years ago. At that time I was interning with the Queen of Hearts but was also running my own wedding business as well. Here are the top three things that I learned from those first weddings:
1. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I went solo. That's right- no assistant! I cannot imagine going solo and I can't believe I thought it was okay. It was still a total team effort between the reception/catering staff and myself, but I learned my lesson. One thing we pride ourselves on at the Queen of Hearts is how all of us wedding planners are also assistants at each other's events. Too much can happen, and too many things need attention to do our job right!
2. Allow plenty of time for setup. See the above statement: I went solo. And at one of my first weddings I had to setup all of their DIY decor… on every table and around the rooms! I got it all done, but I dashed around like a crazy woman. Lesson learned! At a DIY-styled wedding last year, it took our team hours to complete the decor and we allotted the time for it. And we even called in an extra set of hands for setup.
3. Always wear comfortable shoes. This applies to the Bride and Bridesmaids as well (I can't tell you how many bandages and shoe cushions I've dispensed!), but I wore what I thought were comfortable, small HEELS on my first wedding day. During clean up I was bare foot. Yes, again, ashamed to admit it. I now wear my cushioned Croc Mary Janes and always bring an additional pair of shoes just in case. There is just too much running around!
Being part of a larger team and having mentors has helped me raise my level of professionalism a lot over the last seven years.
Lesson Learned.
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Introducing our newest team member!
by Mark Kingsdorf, MBC
I’m REALLY excited to introduce everyone to my new partner Phyllis Ann Jablonowski; owner of Eventricity, LLC.
In case you missed it, The Queen of Hearts Wedding Consultants joined forces with Eventricity, LLC earlier this year. We are the wedding planning division of her larger, family run, event planning and décor company.
Phyllis is hardly a newcomer to wedding planning. So I decided to sit down and do the “On the Mark” interview I’ve done with many local colleagues to introduce you to her.
For starters, her last name isn’t really as hard as it looks – Jab-la-now-ski!
Mark: How long have you been in the wedding and events industry and how did you get started?
Phyllis: That’s a loaded question. I’ve always been in the business; at 6 or 7 I worked in my grandmother’s flower shop, in college I worked part time in my uncle’s shop and SWORE I’d never get into the business and still ended up in the family business about 30 years ago. About 22 years ago I started PJ Events, which eventually became Eventricity, LLC.
Mark: Tell everyone more about Eventricity –
Phyllis: Eventricity, LLC is really an umbrella company, especially now with the addition of The Queen of Hearts Wedding Consultants.
We have a Retail Floral Shop called Kesler’s in Glenside, where our design studio is located. We took over the property of a family run flower shop and greenhouse and still do lots of retail flowers for births, funerals, proms and holidays.
We do full service event décor – floral, linen, lighting, rental and props- for weddings, mitzvahs and other social events, as well as for corporate and nonprofit events. Our team really loves event design.
We also do a large amount of planning of corporate and nonprofit events as well as mitzvahs; things like 20 events for the Grand Opening of the new Einstein Medical Center Montgomery, ship christenings at Aker Shipping at the Philadelphia Shipyard and fund raisers for the National Foundation for Celiac Awareness.
We also have an in house graphic designer who supports all of the décor and events with printed materials; thing like invitations, seating charts, ad books and graphics.
We had been doing a bit of full service wedding planning but not on the scale of the “Queen of Hearts”. Incorporating your team, which is proficient at full service planning, is a natural progression for Eventricity. We were already working together pretty frequently, so the groundwork was already laid.
Mark: Wow, OK, that’s more than many people realize. What has been the highlight of your career so far?
Phyllis: There are LOTS of highlights. I think every day is an opportunity for another GREAT moment.
Mark: You already told us you grew up in a family floral business, but what’s the craziest job you’ve ever had?
Phyllis: LOL, that’s easy – I worked as a dispatcher for a township public works department. Trash men, streets department and public works – 48 guys and me!
Mark: That’s funny, I’m sure you have some crazy stories. Tell us something else about you most people don’t know.
Phyllis: I have a Master’s Degree in Sports Medicine from Temple University. I worked as a trainer in a high school and in Temple University’s sports programs. I am very proud to say that I was one of the first women in the region working with professional sports teams- both the ‘76ers and the Eagles.
Mark: You’ve dealt with couples planning weddings for nearly 30 years – what’s the biggest mistake you see people making?
Phyllis: There are a couple of things that all relate to each other – they don’t have a body of knowledge about the big picture of weddings so they often come in with unrealistic expectations. I also see couples who look at everything as an individual project instead of one larger body of work. And lastly, brides especially, think they can do it ALL; even on the wedding day and they miss so much of their day.
Mark: Let’s talk about some fun, random things… what’s your favorite food?
Phyllis: I love food and I love flavor – anything that is a party in my mouth. I really like homemade pasta – pumpkin gnocchi with sage butter…now that’s a party in my mouth.
Mark: How about your favorite restaurant?
Phyllis: I don’t remember the restaurant’s name; but I had AMAZING Dungeness crab on the Warf in San Francisco. That was part great food, part great atmosphere and part great company (I was with lots of industry friends at a conference).
Mark: OK, how about a local restaurant?
Phyllis: Heirloom in Chestnut Hill – they have interesting flavors!
Mark: What do you do on your day off?
Phyllis: What do I do or what do I like to do? I like to spend the day flea marketing or at a museum, I usually spend my day off catching up on housework and time with my family.
Mark: Last Question. What’s your advice to couples planning their wedding?
Phyllis: Focus on the end result, an overall vision – your emotional response, your experience, your guest experience and the feeling of the event…we’ll help you get there.
For more information on Phyllis’ professional experience, awards and involvement check out her bio on our About Us page.
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Drunk and Disorderly
by Mark Kingsdorf, MBC
I’m sure by now that many of you have seen the news of the video from this weekend's wedding disaster here in Philadelphia; involving guests from two weddings, the police and a relative of one of the brides dying.
Our hearts go out to the family and friends of the gentleman that died.
I wanted to address some of the issues surrounding this event as many of the same things go on at weddings every weekend; truthfully I’m surprised we haven’t seen these kinds of issues in the past.
One of the major issues we address is to prep the bridal party and the bride and groom – your wedding day is a very long day and we try to get bridal parties (guys too) to eat something in the morning when they are getting ready, drink plenty of water to stay hydrated and try not to start drinking champagne or beer too early and by all means keep away from the hard liquor until after the ceremony.
Most receptions have an hour of open bar during the cocktail reception (some up to an hour and a half) and then four hours at the reception…adding on too much liquor too early in the day is a sure recipe for disaster.
Because of liquor liability many venues will no longer pour shots, YAY! We wish everyone would follow the same policy. Friends pounding shots is one sure way to have your wedding planner in the restroom holding your bridesmaids hair at the end of the night.
For our bride and groom, we recommend that about the time of your cake cutting you switch over to drinking water – you’ve been talking a lot as well as dancing and this will help rehydrate you. You’ll feel MUCH better the next morning at brunch.
We love to slow things down at the end of the night – our preference is not to serve cordials on a dessert display…self-service liquor is a huge no-no and we find that shots of sweet liquor just gets people blasted faster.
We’ve all extended the wedding into a wedding weekend by adding on an after party and a post wedding brunch…we get the idea of wanting to spend time with your friends…
From an etiquette standpoint it is not socially acceptable to invite you guests to a wedding and then make them pay for cocktails – HOWEVER, when it comes to the after party we have to vote against footing the bill. You’ve already wined and dined guests for 5+ hours, they’ve had 5 hours of open bar, wine with dinner, shots and after dinner drinks…you really don’t need to provide more free unlimited booze.
Hosting an after party with non-alcoholic drinks and some snacks and offering a cash bar is a great way to be a good host and to slow the drinking a little bit.
Other things to consider –
Where are you going for you after party? Keep in mind that while the bar in the hotel where you hosted your wedding is a GREAT idea; you must also remember that more than likely there will be guests from other weddings, who may have stayed at that hotel, or who got married in the area there as well.
As the bride, expect that there will probably be another bride in her gown there too; as well as loud guest from their , who might make some comments if they see two of you in gowns…
We’re all in favor of providing transportation for your guests – we NEVER encourage people to drink and drive…just remember in some circles this transportation is now an invitation to drink yourself silly.
Another suggestion for protecting your self and your family is to secure Wedding Insurance – we suggest couples book a one day rider on their homeowners insurance; which also covers liquor liability, in case someone slips and falls, gets drunk and gest hurt or breaks something and decides to sue you or your family.
Hopefully some good, practical advice and prior planning will help keep things from getting out of hand and allow you and all of your guests to enjoy the wedding.
Cheers!
Pop, Crackle, YUM!
This blog post was going to wait until I had more supportive photos from the photographer; however a Facebook comment about craving fruit cereal, and the commotion it caused prompted me to do this sooner…
Recently we had a couple, that when we met over a year ago, said they LOVE cereal and wanted to do a cereal bar at the end of the night… you know, sort of like a candy bar.
I then subsequently attended the wedding of one of our local Wish Upon A Wedding couples who also did a cereal bar.
Our couple’s wedding ended at 1AM with an after party in the ballroom foyer, so our couple wanted something fun that reflected them for when people left and for those hanging out at the after party.
A sign reading:
{Bride} and {Groom} love cereal, as you may already know.
Enjoy some of our favorites here, or make a bag to go!
The set up included 3 BIG bowls of their favorite cereals, another of a savory cereal mix, mini boxes of other assorted cereals and lots of bowls of fun toppings like chocolate chips, mini marshmallows, nuts, raisins, M&M’s and butterscotch chips.
There were personalized treat bags so you could mix your own snack mix and alongside that were bowls, spoons and more traditional assortments of milk (3 varieties) strawberries, blueberries and bananas if you wanted a more traditional breakfast fare.
And as if you weren’t having enough fun there were platters of marshmallow treat too.
What a great way to send off your guests and something that REALLY reflected these fun, cereal loving couples!
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Leah + Chris- One Atlantic Wedding
By: Rebecca Richman
Leah and Chris' One Atlantic wedding over the summer was one of the most colorful weddings I've ever done and was so full of personalized details. Working with Donna from Beatiful Blooms, the relatively blank space was transformed into a tropical paradise. What I loved too was that each space had its own unique look, guests were introduced to a different space for each segment of the evening continually building to the big reveal of the reception space.
Entering One Atlantic, they were guided in front of a customized wall of Kete bags (native to New Zealand where the bride and her family are from) which served as escort cards and alluded to what was to come. Each bag contained a poker chip which seemed appropriate given that One Atlantic is in Atlantic City at Caesars. Koru is a native curling fern in New Zealand and symbolizes new life and beginnings so a fiddlehead fern was used throughout the decor.
Mingling throughout the windowed space full of candlelight, guests were then guided to the ceremony space where whites, greens and candlelight were used to create a very ceremonial and solemn space, with the Koru symbol on their customized aisle runner marking the path to their new life together.
After a cocktail hour of fun passed horsdoerves like chicken quesadillas paired with mini margaritas and a slider bar, guests were invited into the colorful reception space where LA Starz was already rocking the house. Gorgeous florals in pink, purple and orange were used throughout the room with tables dressed in a charcoal krinkle linen, "snakeskin" chargers, pink napkins and silver napkin rings. Stationery by Lauren Brown Studio really finished off the look of the table and colorful lighting set the energetic mood. Fun elements like a cigar booth, photobooth, passed iced coffee and mini donut shooters and soft pretzel and candy station kept guests guessing what was coming next.
So happy we could be part of this event as Leah and Chris were two beautiful and kind people. This was one heck of a party and huge thanks are owed to the pros who brought it all together.
One Atlantic
Beautiful Blooms
Dinofa Photography
LA Starz
Lauren Brown Studio
Stories from the Altar
You’ll typically hear us say one of the hardest parts of the day is getting the couples, family and bridal party to the ceremony.
The logistics of hair and makeup, dressing, pre ceremony photos and transportation are always challenging, everything takes longer than you’d think.
I’ve often said we can get you there, get you lined up and get you down the aisle; but after that you’re in the hands of the officiant…but not always.
This week was the twelfth anniversary of our very first client, her Face book post about working with us reminded me that one of her groomsmen got slightly overheated during the ceremony. Seeing him step out of line we snuck in, took him into the church foyer, got him some water, and loosened his tie and when he was better (and guests stood to sing) popped him back in line. This actually happens a lot.
Then there priest who was to enter the sanctuary with the groom and best man to follow – as he entered all of the guests stood and the processional started. From the back sending the bridal party down the aisle and getting the bride ready for her entrance, we couldn’t see over the guests…
As my assistant fluffed the brides train and sent her down the aisle I darted around the edge of the church and grabbed the groom from the sacristy. By the time the bride reached the altar, the groom was standing waiting for her.
We also had a couple who were so caught up in the ceremony, that when the priest directed them off the steps of the altar- they thought the ceremony was over and started to leave…when they were supposed to be presenting flowers to the Blessed Mother. Before they reached the first pew we had swept in handed her the flowers and rerouted their direction to the side altar.
There have been Chuppah that blew over as we were about to start; where we had to reposition the groomsmen to hold the poles for the ceremony …
We’ve seen it all, the key for us is keeping in the moment, following the ceremony not leaving the ceremony space and watching what is going on….we’ve seen ‘church ladies’ who never lit their altar candles {until we reminded them} or who left for Starbucks after the processional.
We might not ‘be in charge’ after we get couples up the aisle – but we’re sure there to keep things moving smoothly.
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You never forget your first…
by Mark Kingsdorf, MBC
I’ve done hundreds of beautiful wedding and worked with hundreds of AMAZING couples and their families over the last 12 years…
They each hold a special place in my heart, as all were unique and reflected that couple's individuality.
I’m truly touched and honored that I received this post on my Facebook wall last night:
12 (TWELVE!!!) years ago tonight, a well-organized certain man asked me calmly if I had another first dance song in mind that the band could play…as the DJ had not arrived…he also sweetly reminded me that my ginormous train needed to be bustled, and he also whisked away the swaying groomsman who almost took the show away by fainting at the altar. And there were probably a billion other things that I never knew about that went right on our wedding day because of you. I Would Not Have Changed A Thing. Thank you, Mark Kingsdorf. LOVE, your very FIRST client
As a wedding planner, you NEVER forget your first bride!
Thanks Siobhan! I love you guys too!
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Allison + Chris- A Union League of Philadelphia Wedding
By: Rebecca Richman
Allison and Chris were a true pleasure to work with over the course of last year for their St. Thomas of Villanova and Union League wedding and I'm so happy to be able to share their photos with you! We put together a great team of professionals for this special wedding and the day couldn't have been more perfect! Enjoy!
Union League of Philadelphia
Sweetwater Portraits
Blossom Productions
Jellyroll
Carl Alan Florist
Philadelphia TrolleyWorks
Cescaphe Trolley
First Class Luxury Limos
Check out their wedding video preview from Blossom Productions!
http://www.blossomproductions.com/highlights/AllisonChris.html
A traditional "first look"
Gorgeous!
What a fabulous photo! Love the Rolls Royce!
Loved their Boardwalk themed after party!
I love how he looks at her. So much love between these two…
Reality TV, the internet and the $26K wedding
A week or so ago a dear friend, who is also a wedding planner {and who also appeared on the same reality TV show I did} posted about her frustration with brides coming in talking about the media blasting pieces about the average $26K wedding…
Some of the frustration comes from brides who are BOMBARDED with news pieces about the national average cost of a wedding being $26K; but the images they show of weddings that ARE NOT AVERAGE.
So at the risk of upsetting some people who have commented on our blog previously calling me snobby {see blog post: BURP!} I wanted to tackle some of the reality of the $26K wedding and exactly what you get and what some research by national sources shows.
The National Average:
All of the research we can find shows the following numbers as being average…. The average size of a wedding is 141 guests with four bridesmaids and four groomsmen.
Starting with the premise that approximately 50% of the average wedding budget goes to the reception {or approximately $13,000} that comes out to about $92.00 per guest including food, beverage, service charges and tax {more specifics on that later}.
So the reality of that is that if you’re having a 200 guest wedding {we see a lot of those}; your average wedding has now gone up by $5428.00.
BUT, the national average takes into account weddings in all 50 states; including those people who head to city hall in their best dress and suit, buy a bouquet and go out to dinner with their two witnesses. Probably under $200
It also takes into account intimate beach weddings and private weddings in someone’s back yard…not that there is ANYTHING wrong with those… we just see that the large number of smaller intimate weddings really skew the average.
Welcome to Philly:
We keep talking about the national average – the next important piece of published information would be the Top 10 Most Expensive Wedding Areas.
- NYC (Manhattan): $70,730
2. NY (Long Island, Hudson Valley and NYC Outer Boroughs): $51,811, $45,695, $44,718
3. Northern/Central NJ and Southern NJ: $49,347, $36,694
4. Rhode Island: $41,169
5. Philadelphia, PA: $36,294
6. Santa Barbara/Ventura, CA, and Los Angeles, CA: $36,233, $33,745
7. Boston, MA: $35,458
8. Chicago, IL: $35,389
9. Connecticut: $35,197
10. Southern Florida (Miami, Fort Lauderdale and surrounding areas): $33,810
YUP, you’re right Philly is right smack in the middle of that list at $36, 249 and our friends across the Delaware in South Jersey are slightly higher than that. These are balanced out by Utah with the lowest average spent ($13,214).
Using the same formula we used before that $13000.00 reception would average$18,124.50 {for 141 guests} and our reception for 200 guests comes in at $128.50 each or $7581.50 higher bringing our local cost to $43,850.50.
This may include your liquor {in this case about $20.00 per person}, 10% liquor tax; 20% service charge and 8% sales tax we come out to about $75.00 per person which covers your dinner, the room and anything which comes with it, staffing and overhead to keep the lights on… you're not getting a lot of food.
Other Points of Interest:
There are a few other, not so minor details, which were included in the information on the $26K wedding people keep overlooking…
The honeymoon is not included in the budget – no big surprise there, when we do budget for most of our weddings we don’t budget for honeymoons. It’s too hard to work into the numbers as we see HUGE swings in the locations, length and style of a honeymoon. When working with a very modest budget it becomes even more challenging.
The other note that surprised me was- you should expect the budget to be “more when choosing well-experienced professionals, designer labels, popular event locations, unique or custom products and services”
REALLY, the price goes up when you pick professionals, experience, cool places, popular dates or custom designed products????….good to know!
I also took some time to check out what is quoted in terms of budget breakdown when talking about the $26K wedding as the one thing professionals across the country often see is brides coming in with pictures of HUGE, beautiful centerpieces with no idea of cost.
The numbers we found came in around $1,600.00 for personal flowers (all of the bouquets, boutonnieres and corsages), ceremony flowers and reception décor.
For that price here is what we found – { these were actual quotes from a florist }
Bride’s bouquet, Maid of Honor bouquet, Three – Bridesmaid’s bouquets, Flower Girl’s head wreath with basket of pedals, Two – rose mother’s corsages, Eight rose boutonnieres.
The description accompanying this is roses, carnations, chrysanthemums, daisies, baby’s breath and fern. Additional items (more bridesmaids or groomsmen) or changes to the type of flower or size will increase the price.
So here’s what we found that matched that description.
Ceremony included two altar pieces with reception flowers consisting of several buffet centerpieces (3) and centerpieces for 15 tables. Keep in mind that at 141 guests this means approximately 10 people to each table and out 200 guest wedding now requites of a minimum of 5 more centerpieces.
Here are the centerpieces based on the package and stem count the florist provided…
Again, there is NOTHING WRONG with these centerpieces, but it’s certainly not what brides are seeing on reality TV or are showing florists when they are looking at doing an ‘average’ budget wedding.
Unfortunately, these are the size images brides are seeing on reality shows, real weddings and being told that these fit into that "Average Wedding " budget of $26K.
Wedding cake is another example of what falls prey to this – the wedding cake proportionate to that 141 guest $26K budget is about $250 or about $1.77 per slice.
{have you ordered dessert in a local restaurant lately?}
A very basic 'supermarket' style cake falls into the budget… again nothing wrong with that {I've had some delicious supermarket cakes} but it looks something like this.
Keeping in mind that if you save the top tier for your First Anniversary, you'll have just enough for the 141 guests as dessert . If your wedding is 200 guests, at $1.77 we've added on $105 bringing us to $355 for the cake without any flowers {or cake topper} or upgrading to fondant or any 'fancier' piping work…
We're not bashing people for having modest budgets, we get it, it's A LOT of money….
We just want people to understand that REALITY TV and REAL WEDDINGS, aren't that real and they certainly aren't AVERAGE… {modest budgets don't make for good TV}
We want couples to come into wedding planning with realistic expectations about the size of your guest list as well as a realistic understanding of what Reality TV or REAL Weddings are showing to all of us as AVERAGE, isn't.
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The New Caesar Salad –
by Mark Kingsdorf, Master Bridal Consultant
Too funny how some things come from our past… my classical culinary training has taught me that Caesar Salad is done one way, one recipe and traditionally made to order often table side….
Add anything else to it and it is no longer a Caesar Salad … it’s just a new twist on a salad we’ve seen before.
Caesar Cardini, who originated the Caesar Salad in a restaurant in Tijuana during the prohibition, must roll over in his grave at some of the things added to his salad.
Truth is there are very few original ideas; everything seems to be unique twists in something someone, somewhere did previously… it might be new to you but truth is; Everything Old is New Again…
Weddings are no different; we often have people come to us who want all new original ideas, they want things no one has seen before – sometimes they come with “original ideas” which end up being a variation on something which we’ve seen blogged or in a magazine…
We get it brides are going to or will be in 5-6 weddings before or after their own and don’t want it to be cookie cutter or look like the ones they (and all their friends) just went to.
Our answer is BE YOURSELF…
Make your wedding about you!
Let your guests experience things that are uniquely you and your fiancé – that’s original!
You’re you and the combination of two unique people in one marriage and one event can’t be duplicated.
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